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Thursday, November 11, 2010
allowed entry at 12:42 pm

One day, my brain and my heart will implode.

So much injustice is happening around me and to me as well. Thinking about it makes me squirm so bad.
I wonder what karmic action is happening because none of this is fair.
I get sad everytime I think about it and it's really not healthy for me and for the people around me too.
I'm sick of this feeling but it won't go away.

I really wish I'm still the same person I was before.
I used to never think of all the negativity and focus on the positive instead. Now I keep telling myself I'm just a realist instead of a pessimist. But I think I'm only kidding myself. I am a fucking pessimist.

I'm the complete opposite of the person I was before.
I don't talk as much. I think too much. I worry a whole lot. I don't do much anymore. I'm no longer ambitious. I no longer dream for better things.
To sum it up, I'm not the 17 year old I was anymore.

It's scary how much things have changed for me. Thinking about it makes me wanna run away and die alone.

I'm bitter.