allowed entry at 12:37 pm
I wish I could type out every major event that has happened, is happening or will happen in my life.
But there's this thing called privacy and the only only thing I can do is leave myself hints of what was currently happening whilst blogging. So that when I reread my posts, I'll know exactly what I was blabbering about in the first place.
I wish I could vent out all my anger and frustration.
I wish I could say what was causing my sadness and despair.
I wish I could share my happiness and bliss.
But I guess what I'm trying to say is that we're born alone and we die alone. What happens in between, I'll keep them to myself. No matter how hard it is dealing with it alone.
I've learnt that lesson a hard way. I've learnt many lessons the hard way.
And I'm continuing to learn and I hope I won't stop.
On a side note, my last term is coming up next week. So, the end of school is nearing =(
I don't wanna grow up. I wanna stay in school forever, only without the exams.
And I'm really not excited about receiving my past module's results. I'd be stoked even if I got a D.
Looking forward to school again after 2 long weeks. Why 'long'? These 2 weeks have been a series of train-wrecks for me.
I don't know if my luck's gonna change, I don't know how long it's gonna continue this way, I don't know if it's ever gonna end. All I know is it's something I detest.
I would never ever want to go through it again.
Never, never, never, ever.
allowed entry at 2:14 am
Droooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolsssss.
I want her hair, I want her wardrobe, I want everything that has got to do with her.
But I really want her hair though.
My hair was supposed to be like hers but it turned out so wrong. My hair took twice the amount of time to be properly dyed, even the hairstylist got impatient. The bleaching took twice the usual amount of time too! Macam cheebai.
I think my hair wants to stay black, so it's like, fighting back hahah
Whatever, there's still next time. I'll get my Gwen-ish hair soon.
It's already the third week of July. Flags and decorations in the neighbourhood are already out for National Day.
It makes me realise that I'm growing a year older.
Another period of realisation that makes me panic. That I haven't achieved anything significant in my life.
Truth is, I don't really know what I wanna achieve in life. It sounds sad, I know.
Like I've said before, I don't know what I want in the future. What I wanna be, what I wanna do for the rest of my life, what kind of person I wanna be, the whole bullshit.
The whole 'planning-for-the-future' thing scares the hell out of me.
At what stage do you consider yourself successful? When you're rich? I guess that's what's happening in Singapore.
I should really start thinking about this. First, I need to ask people what would they wanna achieve in life.
I would then get the idea of what it really means to have a goal in life. And then I'll set my own goals. But then again, I'll just get disappointed if I don't achieve the goal I've set.
It's a vicious cycle. It's sad.
I really need to stop posting depressing stuff. I need to start blogging in a happy mood.
But it's hard to achieve that aura nowadays.
I miss this period of time. I looked sick as hell, but I really do miss it.
allowed entry at 1:13 am
I ain't got many friends left to talk to
No one's around when I'm in trouble
You know I'd do anything for you
Stay the night but keep it undercover
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight
I don't know what to update about leh. How?
I wanna talk about stuff but I just don't know what stuff to talk about.
I know I'm hungry, but I'm too lazy to cook stuff.
Okay I know what to talk about.
I wanna talk about how I have nowhere to go anymore. Almost everyday the boy asks me, "where do you wanna go?". And I'll be fucking clueless.
Then he'll get angry cause I don't know where to go then he'll keep on saying "then go home ah, then go home ah!". Hahah, typical.
And I'm so sick of Singapore's overpopulation. I hate going out on the weekends cause I'll get so annoyed with the crowds, which makes me stay in confined spaces.
Crowds are annoying especially at town, omg. You'll spend more time knocking into people rather than shopping. Eventhough I don't do that much shopping anymore.
Which reminds me, I haven't updated about something.
That I haven't smoked for about 2 months.
Yana would be so proud of me when she reads this.
I don't feel richer though, cause my allowance sucks balls. I don't feel healthier either, cause I still get tired after climbing some flights of stairs hahah
No lah abit healthier, I guess. Actually I can't really feel the difference hahahaha. I just didn't feel like smoking anymore, so I stopped. Weird but true.
I hope this continues till forever.
