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Sunday, August 31, 2008

allowed entry at 8:55 pm

Elmo's first time at the beach since he was born.
He looks pretty damn happy to be there.

Everything's been good.
Though some people are pissed at me for not contacting them cause hey, it's all my fault what right?
When was it ever wrong to spend time with my other friends while you clearly don't give a flying fuck about me?
Ah screw it.

Nothing's been going through my mind lately.
Except for the fact that after the fasting month, it'll be freaking Hari Raya and I hate celebrating it.
I just wanna fast, end of story. No celebrations, nothing.
Except for giving me money woohoo!

Things I have to do before I start fasting.
1) Stop cursing and swearing.
2) Stop mengumpat-ing, or as my mum says "talking facts" LOL like mother like daughter.
3) Smoke only after breaking fast. Shit.

&#^$(!* I just cursed.

Oh.
Note to self. Don't let your imagination run wild.
Please.

How can

A.K.A the most fun I'll ever have in my whole lifetime (with a Super Big Gulp right in front of the camera)?

It's cause we're cool like that.

ahhahahaha lol sing somemore ah! Memekak tak tentu pasal.

ahahahah got chicken bone

Oh, Saini is a psychotic, sick bastard who thinks my male cat is sexy.
And you suck at taking pictures with my camera muahahaha

!#$%^&* Stop cursing lah!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

allowed entry at 11:11 pm

Wrong move, bitch.
Just when I thought I was gonna repent.

allowed entry at 9:29 pm

I wish I was Eeyore.
Call me Eeyore instead of Cina Matlap.
Kay thanks bye.

Everything's going fucking downhill and I feel like such an asshole to not care about anything.

Jyeah, I have that I-don't-give-a-fuck look and I really do have the I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude.
But at least I'm no fucking free-rider, no fucking free-loader and not a fucking pain in the ass.
I still care about my life and my future.
Plus I have my own brain to work things out by myself.
I pity those who have well functioning brains but not giving a flying fuck about their own lives.
It's people like these that makes my blood boil and make me curse out loud when I'm really trying to stop cursing and swearing my hearts out.

This other thing is making me lose sleep plus it's driving me up the wall.
I don't know if I made the wrong choice but I was thinking of the long haul rather then the short term.
Nothing interests me anymore and truth be told, I'm sick, tired and bored.
To the core.
It's like we're back to square one. Make that a square zero -.-

Been listening to Blink 182 to make me forget about things and I miss them more then I miss anyone else.
I grew up listening to them and fuck ah I miss them sial. Can make me cry sia.
If they were to ever regroup and have a gig, I'd give up anything ANYTHING to watch them live.
No matter how far, how expensive, how whatever-else-you-can-think-of.
=(

But now,
Time alone.
Time with family.
Time with friends.
Time to repent.

Friday, August 22, 2008

allowed entry at 11:59 pm

I do not look Chinese.
I do not look Chinese.
I do not look Chinese.
I do not look Chinese.
I do not look Chinese.
I do not look Chinese.
Stupid haircut.

First and foremost, I'd like to wish these two babies a very Happy Birthday.
Both old already ah. 19 seh. muahahaha.

Alamak Liana sebok aaaah haha
Syahidaaaaaaaaaaaaah dah tuaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Cukop ah dapat hug only ohkay? haha

Hatimmytimtom also old already ah.
Later later we go out, I blanja you, you blanja me.
Ohkay nonononono. Kau blanje aku ohkay bye.

I'm like bloody freaking stressed. No time for this, no time for that.
Project project project never-fucking-ending and it's taking up all of my precious time.
Bila nak game pon aku tak tau.
If I don't get good grades, I'll buy a one-way ticket to New York and freaking jump off the Empire State Building.
Next Saturday Sentosa. Remind me hor.
I need to unwind and then get back to revising for the freaking exam.
Babi punnehhh!!!

Farah Liyana Binte Ridwan! [<----- this was why I asked you how to spell your dad's name ah HAHAHA]
2 more days babe! Twoooooo lah siaaaaa.
*Sets aside 30 bucks*

Monday, August 18, 2008

allowed entry at 9:19 pm

The easiest way to annoy someone is to say "I don't know" to whatever he's asking you.
It's fun.
And annoying.

Been looking through the pictures in my laptop and booooy are they funny as hell.
I did so much bullshit, I scare myself.
I go "OMFG, what the hell were you thinking Fareena?!"everytime I click to view a new picture.
Came across pictures from before school started and the few months after that and I've gotta say, Yana and Nizam are quite right ah.
I lost quite a bit of weight.
Ohkay, a lot of weight.
Nabey chicken nuggets said that last time, I looked like I went for Botox injections in my cheeks.
I still don't know if I should take that as a compliment or as an insult ah haha

Mummeh says I'm too skinny now too, when a few months back, she told me to cut down on my food intake.
What the fuck, man? What. The. Fuck.
Quite hard to change my diet already.
My tummy's only big enough to fill 1 meal a day now. 2 meals a day if I get lucky.
And the skirts that used to fit me are becoming loose as hell. Damn.

At least I'm only changing on the exterior and not on the interior.

I hate it when friends become a different person altogether when they start to be involved in a relationship.
Before, they'd be constantly ringing you up, asking for meet ups. You know all the shiznack friends do.
After, they rarely or don't even say hi. When you finally get through to them and just start to talk and their partner calls, they'll always hang-up on you.
Then when you're outside, there's absolutely no trace of that person. They'll only pop back up when their partner is busy, asking where you are and whether you're free to meet-up.

After breaking up, they come back. Pandaaaaaaai carik member balik.
Fucking annoying.
Layankan nonok, layankan konek, smue bagos.
Tons of fuckers like these of whom are sadly my 'friends', exist.
Species of fuckers like you should just die and be extinct. Can or not? Favour ah.
Gi mampos lagi bagos lah. I don't need people like you in my life.
I've dealt with a lot of people like this before but the stories never gets old. They still irritate me to the core.
My God.

With regards to the paragraph above, I now accept the fact that I have the Malay vocabulary of a freaking 3 year old.
My Malay Language sucks, I only understand the basics.
So I don't understand half the stuff people talk about in Malay.
I only know how to curse and swear in Malay. I ace that component.
Anak Melayu habis.

Aaaaaaaanyhoooo.
If your life revolves around getting girls or guys, fucking grow up already.
There's a bigger world out there. Much much bigger than getting in bed with that person you want.
You can do that without disrupting other people's lives also lah, excuse me.
My life to be exact.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

allowed entry at 8:02 pm

Don't need to focus on Hafiz ah. Focus on me muahahaha
Just realised that I haven't seen Nunu and the rest for quite some time already ah.
I think the last time I saw Nunu, Vam and Hatim was at the SkaPunkAttack gig. Or maybe it was some time after that.
And the rest at the Suicidal gig, the one up there I think.
Wah nabey, short-term memory siak aku.

For a girl my age, weight, height, shoe and waist size,
I have an ego the size of a freaking blue whale ah lol
But meh, it's nothing to be proud of. I hate my ego ah.
I think my ego defeats the general male ego, hands down.
Dammit.

I was watching Dexter's Laboratory the other night and it hit me that I miss watching cartoons with my eldest brother.
Whenever he got back from work everyday, we'd always stay up till the mornings to watch a whole lot of cartoons till he falls asleep in front of the TV.
His favourite was definitely Dexter. He loves PowerPuff Girls too =(
And I miss watching him play his games on the PS3 =((
And I miss asking him to fetch me from town or wherever if I'm too lazy to move my ass home with public transportation or if the damn trains have stopped their goddamn service =(((
And I miss randomly getting 50 buckaroos from him ahaha
NEEHHH.

But OMFG Ilyas is gonna have a baby brotherrrrr!
I'm crossing my fingers that I get to babysit him when he gets out from his mum's womb muahahaha.
OMG so exciting.
A baby.
A baby boy.
A freaking baby boy!!!
But fuck ah, due late this year sial. Must wait long long.

OOOOHH!
Thank you banyak-banyak Yaany punneh for the birthday presentttt.
Degil eh. I said don't need to buy anything right.
Aku kasi kau kerje kat MK night shift baru tau ahahaaha.
Love <333

For once, can people stop staring when I'm sitting down alone, smoking outside the library and staring into space?
Pfft.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

allowed entry at 4:48 pm

Why am I always the glue?

I find it odd when people confide in me when they're having problems.
Be it in relationships, friendships, families or stuff in general.
It's odd cause I can't even handle my own problems but people ask me for advice.
And at the end of listening to people ranting, I'll talk serious nonsensical bullshit that apparently people think is smart ahahhaaha

And then when it comes to me, I find it hard to talk to someone cause I don't wanna bother them with my problems.
So instead I keep quiet and let my own mind do the processing by itself. Which kinda sucks.

I guess it's true that as we grow up, we tend to let go of the stuff that used to get our heads when we were younger.
I've learnt to see things but be blind and hear things but be deaf.
I've been blocking out stupid and dumb things out of my life and it's going pretty damn good.

I don't need to prove myself to anyone. Period.

On the contrary I seriously cannot tahan people trying to copy me laaaah!
Eventhough I'm very well flattered that people would wanna be like me, do the things I do, say the things I say, breathe the very air I breathe, worship me and also the grounds I've stepped on, I'll tell you this...
Go fuck yourselves and stop trying to be like me cause you'll never succeed. You'll never ever have the life I have.
Face it, I'm fucking cooler than you.
Neh neh poo poo _|_

I wanna go pierce my nipples and slide down Mount. Kinabalu naked.
Wanna follow ah?
Fuckers.

hahahaha Mount. Kinabalu. I crack myself up sometimes -.-

This video made my eyes clog up =/
The 2 guys adopted Christian as a cub and he eventually grew too big so they had to leave him at Africa.
Then a year later they went back to Africa to visit Christian and OMG just watch it.
2:50min is a killer for the cry babies.

I wanna get hugs from a lion tooooo!
Kay I wanna go gym. Bye.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

allowed entry at 1:38 pm

So uh, that was a long post.
Sorry.
That post just wasn't me uh.
It was written by the temporarily attention-deficit hyperactive Fareena.
HEH.

So I'm about to combine some recent pictures together.
Again, this is so not me and I don't know when I'm gonna get back to blogging normally.
Everything's kinda topsy-turvy nowadays.

National Day Celebration at Anchorvale CC.
I guess it's kinda late to update about it, plus everyone else has already done so.
But I'll just do it anyways.

Lepak first, work later.

Oily-faced and sweaty still wanna pose and take picture. Nabey chicken nugget.

No matter what other people think or say, I say we did one hell of a good job.
And the Prime Minister was kinda beside me ahahhaha lol snort.
Pictures courtesy of Shikin, Dane and errr... Dagmar? However you spell his name lah hor.

5th August.

I look like a kitten when I smile.
I never say one ah. Kartik say one.
He also said I look like the Joker. Nabey.
"Why so serious?" ahahha

And I also look constipated when I'm happy ahaahhaha

Why Barney wear red shirt?

Farrr and Farrr Jr. ^_^
Believe it or not, my eyes were open. Pssht.

haha these were the pair shades the boys bought for me initially.
Buuuuut they thought it looked weird so now, it's not mine.
It's back at the store and they replaced it with another pair hohoho.
But the card was cute.

6th August.

Sorry you guys had to wait 20 minutes to surprise me lol
I took a long time to eat uh haha

AIYAH I'M NOT 17 ANYMORE.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

allowed entry at 11:05 pm

Guess I've been too busy minding my own damn business till I kinda forgot about updating.
What's the use of sharing when everyone thinks of no one else but only themselves.
What's the use of sharing when no one cares what you're talking about and how you really feel.
Everyone, in general, is kinda selfish in one way or another. And it includes me too.

And what's the use of sharing when I'm too lazy to talk/type.
There's too much stuff going on anyway.
It'll take me 10 years to finish telling/typing my stories cause everything links to something else.
But it's probably a never ending tale anyway.
And I'm forever lazy one lah aiyoh.

I think I've changed alot. Except for the being a lazy-ass part.
I miss the old me but I guess I thought it was time for me to "settle down".
Not the 'getting-married-and-having-a-football-team-of-kids' kind of settling down, but just settle down, chill and watch the world go by as I sit by the TV sipping my cup of tea...

Make it an ice cold Horlicks uh, I don't quite like tea ahaha -___-
[HoHoHo as much Vitamin B6 from 48 bananas! HoHoHo as much calcium from 50 cups of milk! HoHoHo as much iron from 3 kilos of spinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaach! HAHAHHAHAHAHAH shut up ah]

...By being more sensible in the way I think, talk and act.
To think more, talk less and act responsibly.
Even if it means losing acquaintances and the outer, broader circle of friends along the way cause they don't stick around forever. Real friends in the inner-most circle do.
But you live for yourself, by yourself.

And now I think I chose the wrong time to initiate this stage.
Cause you can only plan for your future, but fate will always play tricks on you.
Or maybe it's not 'fate'.
Maybe it's some people who choose to be obnoxious, oblivious and selfish.

And I think I'm right when I say I can see through people in a glance or maybe after a small conversation.
Time and time again, I'm being proven that I'm always right about someone's character. Anyone's character.
I sound judgemental, but can you honestly say that no one judges someone else?
Everyone does.

And that marks the start of my 18th year of living. Woohoo.

This is the first time I'm taking a picture of my stuff. Wow.
Kinda reminds me of Nizam. He loves doing this ahhaahahahah lol.
Plus my face don't have ah. First time sia.

I think I have awesome people surrounding me everyday of my life.

My parents bought a huge Elmo for me. And another Patrick Star.
I think they think I've turned 8 and not 18.
But I love my stuffed tooooyyysssss.
Anyway, found them on my dressing cum laptop table when I woke up this morning. The freaking huge thing knocked everything off my table lah.
My parents also another one. Wanna have surprise, then make so much noise.
haha what only.

Then the surprise at the interchange.
I didn't see the stuff lying at the stool thingy cause Nizam and Salwah were blocking it lah hahaha lol sorry.
But I found myself with another stuffed toy. She's called Farrr Jr.
OMG I have a female stuffed toy. That's the first.
She came with a Birth Certificate and Yana, Farah, Salwah and Nizam A.K.A. the kukus also made me a card.
I pity Farah's sister cause she had to help make the card till 1am.
You guys are bloody adorable and it must have cost you a fortune to buy Farrr Jr. plus the cake =/
I love you guys sosososososososooo much.
And everyone started playing with Farrr Jr. and she has like 7562935426 foster mums and foster dads.

With so many stuffed toys, I'm wondering how I'm ever gonna get to sleep cause they're all taking up a lot of space O.o heh

And then after lunch and in the computer lab during Design, the boys surprised me with a gift and a card.
Boys. Surprise. Gift. Card.
Let me digest that for a while.
Boys. Surprise. Gift. Card.
Boys. Surprise. Gift. Card.
Wow. When do you ever get to see that happen?
The boys A.K.A Aqmal, Rauf, Kartik and Luqman.
Bloody adorable I tell you. They came up from behind and said "Happy Birthday Fareena!" and one by one shook my hand and gave me the gift and card.
When they settled in their seats I went running around class giving each of them a huge hug.
And more hugs at Junction8 when they decided to change the gift lol
Cause really, I didn't expect anything like that to happen.

I ended up hugging each and every one of those morons up there loads of times.
I can't help but feel very bad cause they spent money on me lah wtf shit man.
And I know they feel the strain cause hey, everyone needs money.
HAIYAH.

Oh! Not to be forgotten, the 2 people I met yesterday.
Thanks Zan for treating me to dinner and cigarettes.
And Meera for sponsoring money to buy me my new shoes nyeahahahaha.

And yes, thanks to everyone for all the wishes.
Had to clear up my inbox and whatever shiznack to receive those texts from lovely people with such sweet words.
Didn't know I was such a big deal ah AHAHAHA! Snort.
And IEG singing a birthday song in class was so damn weird and so unnecessary but I love my classmates =D

I hope my brothers buy me stuff muahahaha.
I don't care if they spend money on me cause they have stable jobs and all that shiznack.
Plus, I'm their adorable lovely pretty little sister who just turned legal ahahahah -_____-"
And stop asking me to quit smoking ah. Irritating you know.

And I wanna spend time with my girly girly girls fast please.
Don't need to brainstorm any ideas to celebrate or what shit cause I just want your presence.
Not presents ah, PRESENCE haha
And yeay Hatim's gonna treat us to dinner and he's buying me cigarettes woohoo!
Gaji 400 peeeeeeeeee muahahaha.

To end the day off, some salesman guy is the 84529857248th person to tell me I look Chinese and also,
I got locked outside my house.
Fucking nabey chicken nuggetttttt!

I <3 you guys.
I typed all this so that you know you're all being appreciated and loved by me.

OMFG I love my life.
OMFG I'm tired of typing.