allowed entry at 12:20 am

On his 23rd, I was broke, with no plans, with nothing to do.
I was so broke I almost cried. I hate being broke. I hate being left with no cash. And I'm still fucking broke!
I thought 2010 was gonna be a good year, but every year feels the fucking same to me. The 2nd half of the year is excruciatingly painful, and it hasn't even ended yet! I fear more torture and hurt up ahead.
I really wish I could turn back the clock and remain a kid. Life really was a playground back then.
Kids grow up and somewhere along the way, we simply forgot how to have fun.
Study, work, money.
Restrictions, controls, rules and regulations.
How far till the line is drawn? Will it ever stop? I think it'll stop only when I'm dead.
I'll never be myself ever again.
I'm letting go. I can only console myself by thinking of the future and not the fucking past.
I'm a problem that can never be solved, I apologise.
Everyone else needs to just go away.
Fuck off and die.