allowed entry at 3:34 am
I'm finding it so goddamn difficult to study, yet so easy to get distracted. It's so easy to waste time doing nothing but so hard to spend time doing something.
It's times like these when I wish I had a photographic memory.
So angry.
Now it's windy and raining too. A perfect weather and atmosphere to snuggle up in bed and sleep till sunrise. But no, I have to study.
So nenehpok.
And this type of weather makes me hungry, it makes everyone hungry.
(A moth just landed on my tummy. So adorable!)
Speaking of hunger, I just checked my weight and it's fucking 47kg.
I am 167cm tall, so that makes my BMI 16.9
The norm is 18.5 What the fuck? I am so underweight, man. I wonder why, I seriously do.
I have been eating more than 3 times a day. Full blast meals, no joke. Full plates of rice, noodles, chicken, whatever. You name it, I can finish it.
Now I'm so hungry, I can eat a bloody alien.
I cannot wait to go grab breakfast tomorrow. And then off to the bf's place to study.
I have to wake up at 8 in the freaking morning and it's 3.45 now.
I hate how my sleeping patterns change during exam periods. And then when I sleep, I'll have nightmares about school. About failing my modules, forgetting my exam dates, forgetting to wake up to go to the exams. You know, stuff like that. It's so annoying.
Ok gua mau blaja.
allowed entry at 4:01 am
Things happen when you least expect it.
We all make mistakes; the phrase that is still etched in my mind since day one, the words uttered to me by a complete stranger.
It's quite a tough period for me because there's a fine line between what I'm entitled to have, what I can't have and the possible negative reactions and objections.
And going through with the exams is not helping. It's so haaard!
I can't fucking concentrate and it's killing me.
Focus. Thank God I have the boy with me.
Why are people so amazed that I do not own a Facebook account?
What is the big deal?
allowed entry at 11:06 pm
I sincerely wish that this life, the life we're all living in now is all merely a dream.
It's just that we haven't woken up yet from our deep sleep.
That way, when I've woken up and were to re-live my life, I would never ever make mistakes. I'll make perfect decisions.
Cause in this life we're in, there is no such thing as a perfect decision.
Assurance. Motivation. Love.
I need it.
Looking back, I used to have it all.
Everything's gone now and I am more than just demoralized. I cannot find a suitable word to describe it.
I have nothing.
Nothing except an image of what was once perfect.
=(
