allowed entry at 8:38 pm
hah.
I'm such a jerk at times, I scare myself.
You're so *&^%$ at times, you're driving me away.
You chose this. So none of it is my fault.
I like how you make me smile and laugh even when I'm down in the dumps.
I like how you don't snap me back to reality whenever I zone out but instead, you let me be.
I like how you don't force me to talk when I don't want to.
And the fact that you said those stuff and actually meant it kinda moved me.
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
Have you ever wondered who'll attend your funeral if you're dead?
What if your friends didn't know that you're dead?
I've been thinking about that since last year and I've finally decided to give my blogger and MySpace password to Ila, telling her that if she ever got to know that I'm gone, she must be the one to post it in my blog and to close down my MySpace.
That is, if my blog and MySpace are still alive and kicking.
When she read my text message, she freaked out, cried and called me ahahaha
And the both of us were down with fever on the same day.
Cool shitszxszxsxsz.
Have you ever wondered how long you're gonna keep up with your current lifestyle?
Ohkay, take me for example.
Forever not at home one ah aiyah, always meeting people to have chill out sessions. If not, we buat kerje bodoh.
Soon, every single one of my friends are gonna build a life of their own. Starting families, building careers and everything else in between.
Everyone's gonna be busy with their own life.
One day, all of this is gonna end.
So I keep wondering and asking myself when I'm gonna start living my own life.
Thinking about it is scaring me and I don't feel like growing up just yet.
I'm 17 and I don't wanna move on.
Suddenly I feel proud to be 17 ah haha.
Her
mum says we look alike ahahah
OMFG we do! Holy shit. I don't wanna go out with you already ah Yaany!
"Now we no more kring kring kring. Now we take tit tit tit tit tit ah. We home home take tit tit tit tit tit. Kteck Kteck Kteck"
AHAHAHAHAHA!
Neh neh poo poo Yaany laughed in the train alone.
And I just realised, LOTS of people trip infront of me.
If people walk infront of me confirm suay one, they trip then I laugh.
Then if I trip, I cannot accept. I curse and swear my worn down flip-flops and the stupid wet floor.
Bloody nabey cheebai.
Don't like me say only ah, no need to embarrass me right, cheebai. Tell my mother.
allowed entry at 12:29 am
ahahahahhaha lol
I never get tired of this picture.
I have so many mean and funny thoughts that cross my mind every single day and I need to stop it.
But I can't.
I find humour in people and I feel bad, but they're just too funny.
Like in class just now, we were having this bullshit, err lets just call it a 'lecture'. Shall not say what 'class' it was.
That lecturer is just bloody hell straight up kuku in the head. Couldn't help but laugh in her face.
Cannot tahan sia.
The stupidest line she's ever said that will stay in my mind till the day I die: "Stand with legs apart and not together, so that you won't fall and hit a 70 year old woman and she die."
aaaaaaaaaahahahhahhahahaha! Fucken retarded man.
Cher, can you get anymore kuku or not ah?
I want you to be my lecturer ah. Everyday can laugh at you one.
Your actions also damn power. Lots of expression.
Where you learn also I don't know.
And I've been having the habit to laugh when I see people trip.
You know those trip-but-didn't-fall things.
I wait till that person is out of sight and then I'll start laughing.
Yes, I do that when I'm alone too. Kuku.
And then the image of that person tripping will continue playing in my mind and I'll laugh to myself again and again.
My God, I need to stop it.
And it's cause
someone taught me. Pfft.
And then there are the ones in public.
Just random people I like to laugh at.
My favourite "watching-people-and-laugh-at-them" partner is Yaany.
She forever got comments on people one. She can make me laugh non-stop for a whole day.
This lah, that lah.
I say 1 thing, she adds 8459272 other things ahahhaha
And then blame it on me! Babi puneh. Shit lah, I miss you.
Tomorrow, tomorrow morrow or whenever, I text you hor. Remind me to text you ahahha.
Or better yet, text me when you've read this. I lazy to text people now =D
That's just the funny and not-so-mean thoughts.
The mean, really mean and extremely mean thoughts are kept inside my mind for no one else to listen to.
Cause I see no use in sharing it with others.
Mouth is sealed.
Dilemmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Zan says I really need to stop dragging my words when I type.
This one or that one.
Today or tomorrow.
Yes or no.
Walau. Forever making decisions.
Do people ever stop making decisions?
allowed entry at 10:28 pm
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
You have no idea how happy I was to see and hug this bloody
PATRICK FREAKING STAR!Mummeh was nice enough to surprise me with it yesterday when she got back from God knows where, together with a tiny Elmo.
♥!I think I have an obsession with Patrick Star.
Everything he says and does makes me laugh.
I can remember almost every Patrick line in every Spongebob episode.
I hate it how Spongebob is everywhere =( and when I ask shop assistants whether they have Patrick Star stuffed-toys, they go "Who's Patrick Star?".
WHATTHEBLOODYFUCKINGHELL?! I get so pissed off I just walk out from that store. Nabey!
But nevermind, now I have a regular-sized Patrick.
Next mission: Find a gi-freaking-normous Patrick Star for me to hug when I'm at home.
The mission after that: Find someone exactly like Patrick Star who can entertain me all day long.
Funny how it's the littlest things that make me happy.
The littlest gestures from people that turns my frown upside down.
Mum chose a good time to buy it for me.
Cause at last, I'm actually smiling when I'm at home.
The past.
It holds a better place, a better person and a better time.
=(
allowed entry at 1:01 am
Happy Birthday Elyana Amran!I'll always remember when you said you thought I was bisexual and emo. Nabey!
I'll always remember all the encouraging words and advices you've said to me.
I love you.
Yay yay Yana dah tua.
Next up, uh you know who ah haha
I've already asked my parents for a kitten. In turn they said that they'll buy me a stuffed-toy kitty and then they laughed. Which wasn't funny at all and I wanted to cry so I scratched the both of them and my dad scratched me back with his "nails" and my mum pinched me till I wanted to die.
I fucking hate it when people pinch me. Nabey.
And so I've changed the criteria to "a
new living and breathing kitten".
I've asked Zan and a few others, names not to be mentioned, for new pairs of shoes sized 6.
And they said "Masyaallah! Tak tau malu.".
Haha bastards.
I'm sooooo annoying right now and I wish to stop.
Cannot Mannot Fannot Lannot Pannot Jannot Hannot Yannot Rannot Wannot Gannot Zannot Nannot Dannot Sannot Tannot Vannot wait for next weeeeeeeeeeek!!!
Though I can't complain about the past few weeks or so.
Too many chill-out sessions, too little time for school.
School's been a bloody bunch of ginormous bullshit so it's not worth attending most of the time.
Sucks the life out of me ah, seriously. Can quit now or not ah?
Chill-out sessions has been good. Not great, but always good.
New friends met and old friends reunite as always.
So yeah. Next week! Next week! Next week! Next week!
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooo wwwwweeeooooooooooooooooooo!
Oh there's this documentary on insomniacs and it shows how people eventually die of exhaustion cause they are really REALLY sleep deprived as in they can't sleep at all.
At all, man.Fucking scary. Imagine not having sleep at-freaking-all and dying from wanting to get to sleep.
I think I'd kill myself before waiting for death to come.
Dammit I love documentaries.
Thank God for Animal Planet, National Geographic and Discovery Channel.
Behind this "muke budak jahat" is a girl who loves watching documentaries ah ohkay.
I can watch them all day and it sure as hell beats going to freaking school.
A part of my back is killing me.
It hurts like WOO! and I feel like stabbing it with a 347847 inch dagger.
I can't walk, bend, sit, stand or reach for anything without going "OUCH BLOODY FUCKING HELL!".
Baik ah geng. Aku dah tua.
allowed entry at 11:21 pm
Woo. I was home today.
Just to clear up all rumours about the driving license shenannighenz, I've just double-checked, triple-checked, checked and checked again with my brother.
And he says that there's no such thing as "enrolling for license only after you're 21".
It's still 18. EIGHTEEN, god bloody dammit.
If you still think it's 21, go build your own driving center with an age limit of 21 ah idiot.
The only change that's gonna take place is that SSDC Bukit Batok is gonna relocate to Woodlands or Senoko or something, soon.
How I know? Cause I'm clever ah, what else haha
Other than me being clever, it's cause SSDC Bukit Batok is filled with my family members. From the instructors all the way to the clerks.
We're gonna own SSDC soon and take over the world.
Eh, dude number 4 and counting.
It was still a big 'NO' and I don't even know why I said it.
I think I have a habit of saying 'no' to whatever people ask me. Haiyoh.
And besides, it doesn't feel right with a thing or two still clouding my thoughts.
Dammit who am I kidding. Nothing feels right anymore.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to say.
I don't know this.
I don't know that.
I just don't freaking know. Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrhhhh!
When faced with stupid questions, respond with a stupid answer.
When faced with stupid people, act stupid.
People like you need a fucking wake-up call, thinking that the world revolves around you.
A bloody small hiccup and you wash your hands off things like no one's business.
Every one of you are the same and sooooo predictable, no matter how much you'd like to think that you're different from the rest.
Every one of you are just typical assholes who has well-functioning brains but don't know how to
put it to good use. You might as well sell it off.
Every one of you suck. Period.!@#%^&*(|{/.,}+_)(*&^%$#@!#}|{@!^';&*)_@#{$%^&*(%&*&_|/.,@!))(*^(@!
Again, don't let the bastards grind you down.
To fucking hell with you people.
_|_ (-___-) _|_
allowed entry at 12:47 am
When all hell breaks loose, you can always count on your friends
to smoke till you die, but still not dead yet ah
to buy food to feed you till your tummy aches,
to put a smile on your face,
to crack jokes to make you laugh,
to make you laugh till you wanna fart, which eventually will lead to wanting to go and shit ahhaha
EHEH! Spectacleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssss.
To this girl and
The girl on the extreme left who's legs are shining like the sun AHAHAHA!
I love you kukus alot alot and alot more.
I
think know I'd die without you kukuheads around.
By the way, Farah, tempat lepak kite macam sial ah.
Orang-orang suar smue jalan kat situ. Plus it's a no smoking area _|_
Find another lepak place lah hor.
Love you.
And these few too.
Sucks that Ila couldn't be there. You babi, you.
The pictures are all like pukimak ah.
I really need to get my camera fixed. Damn you Far, for stepping on your own camera.
Damn yoooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
And speaking of cameras, I don't think I want it for my birthday anymore.
I want a kitten that will never ever ever ever ever grow into a cat.
I mean, a kitten that will remain a kitten till forever and ever and ever and ever.
And ever.
And I don't wanna name my kitten 'Babi' anymore.
Cause that position is already taken up by me =D
My back is itching like no one's business.
Bloody idiotic sunburn. Nabey cheebai.
Lame2 gelap jugak siak aku.
Oh Oh! Far is 48kg and loving it.
And aku tak cengkong eh, excuse me! Hurh.
Ohkay aku penat, nak tido bye.
allowed entry at 10:57 pm
As a result of sleep and food deprivation, muke aku macam #@$woohoo!%^&* but nevermind.
As long as Zan's face is up there, it's fine with me.
Reezan Nasharudin Bin Shahlan skipped his third day of school today just so he could meet me.
Cue to say 'aaawwwwwww'. Touching sia XD
The fucking bestest bud I could ever wish for.
Talk talk. Laugh laugh. Bodoh bodoh. Everything with him. Siao.
Aku sayang kau ohkay.
<333
Eh why my father very on one ah?
Fun sia. He's been fun all along but right now, he's extra fun and WOOHOO!
I'm gonna try to stay home whenever he's not working from now on. Try only, but not confirmed can ah haha
He like got 6th sense ah, knowing that I've gone a teeny-weeny bit kuku in the head.
But I think my dad's kuku in the head also. Like father like daughter.
The mouth also the same, curse here curse there, "FUCK!" here "FUCK!" there.
Then when he eats something sour, his face turns red and he starts so salivate like mad and then runs to the bloody kitchen ahahahaha siao ah so cute sia. Like teddy bear.
Mother still the same. Petpotpetpotpetpot.
Die ah. I get my foul mouth genes from my dad. And my petpotpetpot genes from my mum.
I wonder where I get the 'talking bullshit' gene from ahah! HURH.
<------------- orang gila alert.
I wanna go try to sleep now. Try only ah, but confirm cannot. Haiyah.
Stupid school. Start so early for what _|_
Ohkay bye bye chao cheebai.
allowed entry at 9:29 am
YEAY!
allowed entry at 10:49 pm
People say blogging is therapeutic.
Well I'd say I need more than this cheap therapy. I need professional help.
Close/best friends know only part of the whole story. Yes Nabila, even you.
Cause hell, I don't want people to know about my life story and the little-little things that goes on in my life.
I just don't like sharing my life with people. That's my nature.
I don't update people on my well-being cause based on my experience of people updating me about their life, they bore me to death. Unless you really do matter to me.
Have you ever seen me rant about my personal life in my blog, seriously?
My blog states less than 1/4 of what really goes on in my everyday life.
I'm not really the type of person who types in "Oh, I went to ____ with ____ and saw many people like ____ and took many photos with ____. So here are the photos...".
Which in translation means "Oh my God. Look how popular I am.".
Urgh. Sickening.
Oh damn. Sidetracked.
So yeah, I need professional help.
It's going downhill. Way down the bloody steep hill.
Why? One word; karma.
It's sucking the life out of me. Damn.
I've done all sorts of bullshit in the past and now karma's coming to pay me back.
But this is more than bullshit. It's way beyond the point of 'bullshit'. This is more like 'bullshit taking a crap at Santa Clause at the North Pole on Christmas eve' bullshit.
I'm always telling people to always look on the bloody bright side of things, but I can't fucking see even one silver lining right now and it's freaking me out cause I usually do, though looking like hell in the process of getting to it.
I guess I appear to be talking serious nonsense, but I think I'm the only one who can understand what I'm writing. Or maybe typing.
So is anyone up for a trip to the psychiatrist's office with me?
This picture was taken way back, but I miss that night.
But one way or another, I'd like to reenact it and lose my mind just for a little bit.
And I'm still waiting for that idiot up there to send me pictures from last week's chalet. Damn you, bugger!
But thanks to this bugger, I found myself alive and kicking the next day.
Help me solve this equation.
What does
[Low blood pressure + Massive Stomach Cramps + Addiction + Delusions + Fatigue - Appetite - Sleep]
Equal to?
To anyone who drives a car, preferably a Volkswagen.
Could you kindly knock me down on the street but you better make damn sure that I arrive at the hospital safe and sound, though lying down unconscious while they rush me through the A&E?
Please and thank you.
allowed entry at 1:53 am
"Don't let the bastards grind you down"
You know how much I hate it when I go shopping with friends and they keep talking and talking and talking so damn much till I can't concentrate on shopping itself?
You know how it feels when you're out with your best boy friends and you can't shop at all cause it's too weird?
You know how irritating it is when I go shopping with my mum and she keeps on blabbering on the stuff I'm about to buy?
You know how you feel suffocated when you're always surrounded by people whenever you're out?
So I decided to go shopping alone.
And damn was it fun.
I didn't need to listen to anyone blabbering and I didn't have to feel weird with any guys around.
Fucking retail therapy to the core.
And I saw something funny in the Mango outlet just now.
Apparently Mango had this 50% Sale. Fuck, Mango is like fucking overrated.
They sell the same bullshit every damn time.
Anyways, the woman were going all mad picking stuff out and leaving a mess wherever they set their foot on and there was this middle-aged guy standing in the middle of the store looking rather... scared.
I fucking laughed to myself which was a stupid move.
I guess guys don't/won't/can't grasp the concept of "shopping".
And today is by far the wackiest day I've had.
Not only did I decided to go all weird and go out alone, I was pretty much fucked in the head.
I mean, my bro told me to call Pizza Hut's line, and I punched in a few numbers and handed my phone to him.
Then skali my home phone rang.
Bro: [Check phone] Kau call rumah buat ape?!
ahahhaah fucking moron sia Far.
Then like a few hours ago, Bob brought home a fucking mouse. Cheebai!
I was fucking running around the bloody house screaming "Ayaaaaahhhh. Tikooooosssssss!"
hahaha my godddddddddddd.
Imagine hearing some lunatic screaming at 12am ahah
And apparently, I still look Chinese.
Cause the bubble tea auntie was talking to me in Chinese. And I was like... "hah?!"
Why aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah?
You wouldn't guess how many days I haven't seen him.
Ohkay lah I tell you lah.
Two hundred and four days. 204 days. Two hundred and four days. 204 days.
Hah. I'm a loser for counting the days but I couldn't sleep one particular night and I was bored.
Try reducing your ciggys lah idiot _|_
I love you, babi.
Thank you for getting me through... stuff.
You rock man.
Some things are just better left unsaid.
<------------- orang gila alert.
